#love to see it and id love to see what you come up with!
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jeypawlik · 1 day ago
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Choose One
Had this idea after watching Porco Rosso for the millionth time! Shoutout to all the Goemon fans, I see you I promise! [Image ID: Comic page in black and white with halftones. Panel one, Goemon and Lupin are in profile looking at each other angrily. Both of them are beat up, with bruises and black eyes. Goemon says “Sex maniac.” while Lupin replies “GASP! You’re the one flirting with everyone!” Panel two, a close-up of Goemon’s face as he says through gritted teeth “You are the one monopolizing both.” Panel three, Lupin exclaims “What?!” while the speech bubble falls over both panels two and three. A close-up shot of Lupin’s bruised face to mirror Goemon’s from the previous panel, he has his mouth agape as Goemon insults him. Comic page done in black and white with halftones. Panel one, Goemon is beat up and angrily saying "Choose." Panel two, he points at Lupin and says "Fujiko or Jigen. One or the other." while Lupin, who's also beat up, looks surprised. Panel three, a close up of Lupin's concerned face, he replies "Jigen doesn't--" but is cut off by Goemon off-screen saying "He loves you, you stupid monkey!" Panel four, is a front on shot of Lupin's face now completely red as we see Goemon's fist coming in from the bottom right of the panel. Comic page done in black and white with halftones. The page is largly empty save for the bottom left corner where a small beat up Lupin and Goemon are sitting together. Lupin is holding his cheek saying "Ow." while Goemon tries to catch his breath. /end ID]
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jellymochii · 1 day ago
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Passionfruit
°🥂⋆ pairings: aeri uchinaga x fem!reader
°🥂⋆ genre: fluff, smut, friends to lovers, wlw
°🥂⋆ cw: smut, cunnulingus, mentions of alcohol
°🥂⋆ wc: 2.3k
↪author's note: guess who's back with more aespa wlw hehehe >:), hope you enjoy!
**THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND DOES NOT REFLECT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE PEOPLE MENTIONED**
To truly be alive is to make the most of every day and live each day like it's your last. That's been your motto for the past 5 years since you graduated college.
You ended up on what you'd call a dead end office job–boring, mundane, and tedious. Well, at least it paid the bills, right?
To say you missed the lively experience of college was an understatement. Non-stop partying on the weekends with all your sorority girls, jello shots all around, even the hangovers before school the next morning–it was exactly the life you loved so much.
And so, every Friday night after work you'd escape your dull 9-5 and life like your youth was on repeat all over again. Nothing could compare to the dazzling show of lights and upbeat music to release you from your fears.
It's at one of these parties where you meet your ride or die best friend, Aeri.
What started out as seeing a pretty pink haired girl standing in the corner of a club with a red solo cup quickly turned into bar hopping on the weekends with her. You always knew that she'd be there dancing and partying alongside you, no matter how bad the hangover would be the next day.
You'd say that you knew each other fairly well–after all, you both shared intimate secrets about your life and office horror stories while drinking too many shots of tequila at a V.I.P. couch. You knew that she too had a job she despised as a CEO’s assistant and retreated regularly on the weekends at the clubs alongside you, and that her only close friend besides you was her dog. What you never seemed to know, however, was her love life. You'd ramble on while tipsy about your ex-boyfriends constantly–but Aeri never seemed to have any expert advice to give you, other than saying “That's why men suck, girl.” to you. But hey, at least she was right–men do suck.
That's how you felt, at least this weekend. Your friend with benefits had ghosted you entirely, and the only swipes you seemed to get on dating apps were pervy old men wanting a younger girl. Gross.
Oh well, at least you could talk to Aeri about your woes over some Pink Whitney tonight–and hopefully forget that shit ever happened.
—--
Chat Log With: Aeri🤞💕
You: Heyyy wyd tonight
Riri: Not much, wbu?
You: Hopefully going out tonight, wanna come?
Riri: Duhhhh babe
You: Sweet! Any places in mind?
Riri: Well there's this new place in town called Passionfruit that everyone keeps raving about, wanna check it out?
You: For sure. 8 as usual?
Riri: Yep! I'll send the addy, don't be late ;)
—-------------
You followed the directions your GPS gave you and ended up in the somewhat run-down part of town, no signs of life in sight. You were a little bit scared hopping out of your car, hoping no one would hop out of the bushes and attack you–but your worries quickly vanished as you heard a familiar voice.
“HEYYYY! Y/N, OVER HERE!” Aeri shouted across the street, waving her arm frantically to get your attention.
You quickly dashed across the street to meet her at the doors of the club. There seemed to be no indication that this was a party of any sorts–no LED lights or bass booming music coming from inside.
“Soooo is this one of those underground places?” You asked, your attention on the seemingly deserted looking lobby.
“I guess so, let's just go in and make sure this isn't some lame ass attorney’s office.” She replied, opening the door and letting the both of you in.
The lobby was bare, repping only a bland white wall and a desk with a flower on it. What did catch your attention, however, was the large man standing by the club entrance glaring at the two of you.
“ID's, please.” The large man demanded, causing both of you to fummel through your purses and hand your IDs to him. He checks them very intently before silently handing them back and nodding, opening the door for the two of you.
The club inside was vibrant, with iridescent purple and red lights dazzled by disco balls scattered around the ceiling. The bar was packed and the pool tables were swarmed with cheers from all sides. Girls were all over the dance floor with each other, drinks in hand and someone's tit in the other. Normally the few women making out with each other in the corner wouldn't pay you mind, but something seemed off.
Wow…there's a LOT of women in here, you thought.
“Hey Aeri…where's the hot guys?” You asked.
“I dunno, they must be - ohhhh. Whoops.” She replied, causing you to raise your brow at her.
“Whaddya mean whoops? Is this a–” You cut off your speech after quickly realizing that this was not, in fact, a normal club.
“Oh, so that's why there's no men.” You answered.
“Sorry girl, I didn't know this was that kinda club.” She replied.
“Eh, it's whatever. As long as there's enough tequila for the two of us.” You responded, ushering Aeri to the now less packed bar.
The rest of the night went surprisingly fun. You and Aeri met a lot of different girls, some single and some with their girlfriends–both the single and taken ones seemed to be interested in you both. Seriously, you'd never gotten this much attention in your life. Girls were swarming to call you “sexy” and “hot mama” just as much as they were to Aeri. To be honest, normally, you'd just laugh it off, but the alcohol in your joint systems made you both flirt back.
“You know what?” Aeri turns to you, “This shit is awesome. This place is my new lesbian paradise.”
Wait, what'd she say?
“What do you mean lesbian paradise?” You ask.
She freezes in place, almost like she turned herself right in.
“Uhhh nothing, forget about it, let's just go dance!” She says hurriedly, grabbing your hand and rushing you to the dance floor.
For the next few minutes you had the time of your life, though still wondering what Aeri meant earlier. The music began to slow into a cheesy love ballad as women intertwined with each other in a slow embrace.
The two of you stood there awkwardly at first, but as you watched the fiery room of passion igniting around you–it clicked.
Aeri liked women too.
Not like she'd be any less of your friend, but a lot of things were starting to make sense–like how she felt strangely at home here and never indulged you with her own stories of men. Your head began to spin as butterflies filled your stomach. You wondered if maybe–she thought you were pretty too?
Well, you were gonna find out, no matter how drunk you were.
“Wanna dance?” You asked, sincerity in your voice.
“Wait..for real? It's ok we don't have to-” You cut off her speech by dragging her to the center and embracing her close.
“Y'know…” You spoke. “...It's cool that you like girls. It must be nice never having to deal with pussy ass men.”
“Wait, who told you I liked girls? I never said-” You pressed your finger over her mouth and shushed her. “It's kinda obvious, silly. I still love ya tho~!” You giggled cheerfully.
A smile rose on her face as her head rested on your shoulder.
“Sooo is it fun kissing girls?” You asked, earning a chuckle from Aeri.
“Yeah, way better than men.” She replied.
“Y'know, I’ve always wanted to know what it's like to kiss a girl. Katy Perry swears it's awesome.” You said. “Maybe I should ask that hot ass masc over there to gimme a smooch.”
“I wouldn't if I were you.” Aeri replied.
“Why not?”
“‘Cause she's a regular here from what the bartender said, she might have STDs or something from all the girls she's slept with.” She replied, rolling her eyes.
“Okay, so, can I kiss you then?” You asked.
“W-w…what?”
“So can I? I really need to kiss a girl Aeri, I need to know if it's better than kissing a man. Help a girl out, please?” You pleaded.
She could tell you were being dead serious despite your now drunken nature. You'd never been this direct with anyone, let alone her. She'd been dreaming of kissing you for God knows how long now, but never said anything because she knew about all the guys you dated.
“Alright.” she sighed, almost contently. “Pucker up, baby.”
And so your lips locked with hers. They were so warm and yet so soft and plump, you felt like you were on Cloud 9. You never wanted to stop, so you didn't. Even if Aeri pulled back slightly out of anxiety, you swooped right back in, ravishing her cherry chapstick flavored lips.
“Why don't we go somewhere more private, ‘kay?” She asked. You nodded, the two of you scurrying through the crowd towards the women's single stall bathroom.
—-----------
The bathroom you and Aeri rushed into was run down and filled with graffiti–but it didn't matter at this point, you needed her.
As she locked the door behind you two, the heated making out resumed once again as she firmly grasped your waist to pull you in and feel your body closer to hers. You, of course, with your liquid courage, decided to go straight for her breasts– and dear god, they were so supple and soft. How have you been missing out on this your whole life?
Your hands roamed her entire body, from the soft skin on her neck to her firm and supple ass. It had never occurred to you truly how gorgeous her body really was, but you felt glad nonetheless to touch her as your tongues collided roughly.
You bit down on her bottom lip, earning a soft moan from her–which sparked something in you.
You wanted her, badly.
“Aeri…c-can I touch you?” You whispered, slowly pulling away from the kiss and gazing deep into her eyes.
“Fuck, I mean… if you want to–but don't feel pressured obviously.” She muttered. You could tell she wanted this almost as badly as you did, but her worries still seeped through the drinks in her system. You'd never kissed a girl before today, let alone pleasured one.
And yet, you felt more ready than ever.
“Hop up on the sink for me--kay’?” You asked, nudging her towards the counter of the bathroom faucets.
“You sure, babe? You don't have to just to make me happy, I promise.” She added, leaning up against the counter and pushing her weight against it.
“Yeah, I'm sure.” You replied.
“Girl, you're drunk as shit.” She giggled, now sat on top of the sink, fingers fiddling with the hem of her skirt and panties.
Your hand assisted her in sliding off her coverings, giving you a full view of her now bare soaking cunt face view to you.
You'd never done this before clearly, but something inside of you couldn't resist even if you tried. Her pussy was glistening right before your eyes–begging to be tasted and worshipped. Besides, who were you to deny her?
Your second thoughts seceded the moment your tongue delicately ran up her slit, causing a whimper to come from Aeri's mouth. She tasted so sweet and yet so warm–your senses were flooded.
You swiftly swiped your tongue across her soaking cunt, swirling around her poor swollen clit. Aeri cried out at the sensations of you ravaging her as she desperately tried stimulating her clit on the tip of your nose, while you moved down to fuck her starving hole with your tongue.
“F-fuuuuck Y/N, just like ngh…that.” Aeri moaned, almost desperately. All you could think about in this state was how pretty she looked with her eyes rolled back as you ravished her. Maybe she'd look even prettier when she came.
And so you decided to speed up the process, sliding your two center fingers into her greedy hole, earning a loud and drawn-out moan from her. God, she was so wet–and all for you. You quickly found your steady pace as Aeri bit her lip and threw her head back in pleasure–but you didn't want her to stay quiet. You wanted to hear every melodic moan that came out of her. You quickened the pace at which you were sliding in and out of her–taking notice of the involuntary squeezing of her walls around your digits.
The drinks in your system couldn't compare to how drunk you were off her pussy right now. Every thought in your head was now turned into a haze as all your senses were focused entirely on the divine goddess in front of you. You could tell by the desperation in Aeri's cries for you that she was close–and you were gonna milk every last drop out of her.
“Mmmm~fuck! I’m gonna cum, please don't stop Y/N!” She moaned, her thighs now tightening around your head.
Your lips latched onto her clit in response and sucked harshly as your fingers trusted in and out of her at a newly fast pace. The pressure around your head increased as you felt Aeri's body begin to violently shudder. Your eyes peeked up to see her eyes rolled up to the heavens accompanied by her cries of pleasure.
“Holy shit–I'm cumming I'm cummi–oh, fuck~!” She shouted as waves of pleasure flooded her entire body–causing her cunt to leak creamy white liquid. You licked her entire pussy up and down, leaving not a single spot uncleaned as you took all of her juices in.
You looked up at her now disheveled figure as your eyes met, a smile crept up on both of your faces.
“Yeah, ok, I'm never going back to men.” You chuckled.
“You didn't have to do that, Y/N.” Aeri spoke.
“I really wanted to, though.”
“You were a natural, Y/N.” She giggled.
“Let's go back to my place. Wanna come back next week, same time?” You asked.
“Definitely.”
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urno1luv · 3 hours ago
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squid game (s1) aespa x reader🫣?? ningning is the only sane member + gets a happy ending tho😭
(as for the asks, don't worry!! i saw them all and i'm working on posting them!!)
tags: saebyeok's murder mentioned (😔), yandere behaviour, drugging, noncon, sadism, suicide mentioned once (reader), audiz are written together
🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
KARINA and GISELLE, the VIPs
- flew over with giselle from japan just to watch this event, her perversion evident on her sharp features. she's definitely gonna have the time of her life
- her bets were placed on player 101, seeing how he was one of the most brutal players in the games, but giselle advised her to chose number 067 instead, citing her agility and her supposedly "callous" behaviour as a force to be reckoned with. aeri, after all, is one to listen to🙂‍↕️
- however, when both players have died and the only ones left are 456, 218, and you, 457, karina becomes pretty annoyed with giselle's guesses. "yah, uchinaga. we lost a million already, so choose a better player, don't make me lose more."
- luckily for rina, giselle already had her eyes on the cutest thing ever!!! your beautiful doe eyes glistening and filled with fear from player 218's sudden killing of your friend saebyeok. "hmm.... how about you bet on 456 and I bet on 457?" aeri suggests, smirking. "i feel like they might team up against 218, and the other VIPs are betting on him to win. let's divide our chances?" through a lot of coaxing, jimin agrees, her eyes following your every move.
- giselle and karina are pleasantly shocked once you suddenly use that brain of yours and successfully kill player 456 while he's occupied with the other player. with tears in your eyes, your knife enters his throat, giving him a quick death. though you cared about him very much, you couldn't afford to go against him in the next game when you were the finalists. rina tuts once you kill her pick, but it doesn't matter, bc the other VIPs now owe the girls their money since you won!!
- the guards escort you out of the arena, your legs weak with fatigue and guilt. aeri, however, has other plans for you ♡ "unnie, why don't we have some fun before we leave? think of it as a final parting gift!" jimin scoffs, but after thinking about it, why not?
- after being knocked out by gas during the ride in the lift, you wake up rather painfully, two slender but long fingers rammed into your cunt, pounding deep. you can't move your head to see who it is, but you feel woman's chest pressed against your back, her hot tongue on your neck, lips acting like a suction. your fingers twitch weakly, whimpering softly. your brain is too fried to realise that there's another woman sat beside you, smoking a cigarette, her deep voice ringing in your ears. "aeri, you made a good decision. she'll be pretty fun to play with," and she ended with small chuckle, hand snaking around your thigh. seems like you won't rest well tonight...
WINTER, the frontman
- she's by far the most evil, depraved, person out of all. her love for violence stems from an incident that happened when she was younger, in which her father got murdered before her eyes, and that changed her. it seemed as if her prayers were answered, bc he was not a good person to her at all. from then on, she grew up to believe violence was the answer, and violence was needed in order to get what she wanted
- she first saw you while watching players get their id photos taken, and your anxious and hesitant manner got her attention. what is this feeling she's experiencing right now...?
- her eyes gravitate towards you, even in a crowded room. minjeong feels a strange sense of protectiveness over you as you find a bed to sleep on, away from the others. her eyes gloss over with want as she obsessively watches you sleeping, chest rising up and down in your deep slumber. you must've cursed her because she stood in the security room all night, rooted to her spot. she's come to a conclusion, she has to have you.
- during the game where you had to take the marbles away from another player, using no force, you find yourself feeling sorry for the old man you were playing against. i mean, you only joined these games as a final resort, so if you die, it's what you would have wanted anyway. winter, on the other hand, was NOT going to let that happen.
- she orders the guard to not kill you, but after the game finished, bring you to her instead. her heart is pounding quickly, and her breathing has quickened. she would finally get what she wanted. a taste of you, your touch, your beautiful voice and your compassion for others, minjeong was ecstatic that she would have it ALL to herself..
NINGNING, □
- the detective who snuck in when she found out that her sister went missing. she killed a guard and took his clothing so she can investigate the place
- her plans quickly go to waste when she sees you while watching the cameras, your purity shining bright amongst the other players. she finds out that you came here to find the money to pay for your brother's university and for the massive debt you had, and ning makes it her mission to protect you <3
- quickly becomes hooked onto you, cooing as she sees you cowering from the guards whose guns point to your heads as you try to carve the designated shapes in the honeycomb cookies. she totally forgot her original mission, now she's here just for you
- once the night comes, she watches, in pain, as you scream and run from the mob who tries to kill as many players as they could, her fist shaking, fingernails drawing blood from her palm. she wishes she could help, but has to wait for orders from the head
- she decides that it's time for her to leave, but not without you. when the right time comes, she slips you a note, saying that she could help you escape, with the money, if you wanted. the two of you make a quick plan during your trips to the toilet, and you can't help but feel an immense gratitude for ningning. whatever would you do without her?
- once ning murders all the VIPs in cold blood, disgusting etched into her soft features, she quickly secures a suitcase containing millions of won. though it might not be the billions that were promised, it's better than nothing. she throws in some expensive items that the VIPs owned, and knocks twice on the room where the players stayed. successful in your joint mission, you both go through a secret pathway, and hop onto a boat that harboured nearby.
- fast forward to 2 years from now, ningning has won your love as well. after escaping to jeju island, she was surprised to see that you seemed to reciprocate her feelings, your plump lips landing on hers. not only has she secured a generation of money, but she also earned your affections <33
in case anyone wants the pictures, here they are!!!
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ning is so baby here.. she cannot look intimidating for the life of her
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deepwaterwritingprompts · 8 months ago
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Deep Water Challenge
Hello all weird and wonderful writers! This week, I thought it might be fun to host a mini-challenge where we turn the tables, and I give YOU a request.
Time to try your hand at micro-micro fiction. Write a 1-3 sentence prompt/'story', that has something to do with RAIN.
If participating, please add your submission either as a reblog or a comment on THIS POST, so we can keep all of them in one place and allow everyone else to look through them. On Friday May 17, I'll share my favorites in a separate post, tagging the authors.
As always, keep writing, and stay weird.
- L
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raynecloud06 · 5 months ago
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Vague idea I have for a Project SEKAI AU; Mizuki Akiyama and Tsukasa Tenma as infamous phantom thieves, who are often used as the subjects of renowned painter Ena Shinonome's work.
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crimson-nail · 1 year ago
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we talked abt this earlier but its probably a good thing knives apple’d himself at the end of trimax, because if he’d found out from chronica that they started chipping independents he would’ve had The Conniption Fit To End All Conniption Fits
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bananafire11 · 5 months ago
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I have a question if you don't mind, for the cast of the wretched au, do some of them not entirely have consciousness? Like you said before, Caine makes additions to them mentally (sometimes). So has Caine ever stripped someone of their personality/consciousness before? Sorry if my question is confusing, I'm just a tad confused on thr info. Before I go, just want to say that I love your au! It's inspired some parts of an au I'm working on! I also really love your art! Anyways, don't forget to take care of yourself and I hope you have a wonderfully lovely day/night! Back to the vents I go :]
I had a similar ask about this recently!
only certain players minds are altered to fit Caines criteria. And the line between trauma responses and Caines own additions can most certainly be blurred. Pomni, for example, acts like a skittish animal due to what she has experienced, but she has hunting instincs given by Caine... i hope that helps answer your question!
^ copied from that previous ask. But please, feel free to ask more questions if that isn't of much help,
He cannot strip a person completely of their mind, he can only add instincts onto a player :]
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pyrosomatic-metamorphosis · 2 years ago
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your honour theyre FAMILY
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arsenicflame · 6 months ago
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(in general, removed from any specific au's where he needs to swim/not swim for Plot)
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(personally, i think my stance is that he has some ability to keep himself afloat in calmer waters- on the shore or in a pool- but not in the way where its a particular skill. hes spend enough time dicking around in the shallows with Jack & Sam & Ed to know how to handle himself in water where he cant consistently reach the bottom, to feel comfortable cooling off by a waterfall, but is also keenly aware that if he goes overboard, even in relatively calm waters, being able to swim isnt going to do anything to save his life if a dinghy isnt sent. hes not gonna drown the second he's in the ocean or anything, but hes screwed if the waters a little too rough or its late or a raid and it isnt noticed before the ships a way away.)
#this came to mind bc i was writing a thing that had this 'of course izzy cant swim' moment and i suddenly realised. i dont know where people#stand on this. god knows i love a drowning fic but thats situational not swimming to me. for the whump#doesnt mean you think he has no swimming skills; you gotta put that man in a Predicament#so! poll#this was gonna be a yes/no/other poll buuuut i ended up deciding to add treading water (type things) as an option in the poll#because i figured itd be the most common nuance take (its my take after all) and id rather leave nuance for people who have unique ideas#(and maybe some people will consider treading water as just swimming too so. fair divide! give u ur own special button for Statistics)#ok but actually tell me your headcanons. tell meeeeee#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#additional: i say stay afloat bc i dont see it as a traditional tread water as such. more like... leaning into natural buoyancy?#like how you can lie on your back and float. hes completely untrained but he has something that works for him#ed can swim btw. it was something he wanted to learn so he did. but hes never had any interest in teaching izzy#(this will come back to bite him later)#hes occasionally raised it with izzy; when hes doing laps in a quiet spring they found. but the topic switched and it never went anywhere#(i debated adding my personal comments to the op for a while but. i like hearing what other people have to say. so.)
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thatsgonnaleaveamark · 6 months ago
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booked a hotel and got the concert ticket aghhhh
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puppppppppy · 8 months ago
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 3 months ago
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i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again
sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now
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Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.
And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.
and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.
no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.
and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.
im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.
and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently
in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.
there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.
no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.
#you know it's funny#i still feel this way but the moment i wrote this#on tiktok one of my friends that was there for most of my times followed my secret tiktok account and#the friend that i lost last year checked my account and#i hope she fucking knows how much that means to me#because i always felt like she hstes me but i still deeply feel she cares abf me and silently looks out for me and i feel so sorry#bc in the past 4 days she has checked my account multiple times and idk man#i truly feel like she sees that im struggling i appreciate it a lot#but i could never tell her that because what if im wrong and also#i dont fit in that friendship anymore#but im still really greatful#for checking up on me even like this#*most of my life#noticed a typo#idk anyways i just really needed to scream this into the void. I didn't want to be so sad today. i just scrolled instagram to numb myself#all day. but i got off my phone it was terrible. idk. i feel im not sure i can get my shit together by monday#im sick of having to fall apart and build myself up every fucking day man. and each day i literally wake up telling myself affirmations#trying to convince myself that its oka#it will be okay at least when u are home at night. wait for that moment everyday but. im tired of waiting for night to be happy man.#i have 30 mins to either post that fuckin video and make a fool of myself bc i told myself i need to post it on the 19th. but idk man. Im#terrified it will only disappoint me. people will make fun of me. idk man. its not that funny is it. or is it? how pathetic i am for clingi#g to the only hope in my life like a fucking abandoned dog man. but what can i do. i dont want to depend on you so much. but then who shoul#i depend on? if i depend on myself im just gonna kill myself man.idk. my grief is getting worse day by day. i still practice guitar everyda#hoping that maybe you will come back or something will come back. maybe mywill to live will come back? maybe the Instrument will play a not#that I can depend on? i dont really know what im looking for thats the worst. living is uncomfortable and dark. even when im smiling with m#friends i feel lost.there's something i feel like they know and i dont. when they could name their favorite colors in kindergarten i alread#knew something was different abt me.its really isolating.not having a clue of who am i.i keep saying im finding myself more and more but tb#i still in a way like im always wearing a costume. i wonder how naked id have to be to find myself. sorry for word vomitting.it maybe helps#anyways acchan i miss you.this world feels really stale without you.i wish I could truly show how much I love you with my words or life but#i dont really think it makes a difference.my voice really doesnt matter that much in the end.maybe im too much
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ratatatastic · 5 months ago
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hey do you ever think about the dichotomy between
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cats on their cup celebrations days teamwise and solo
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versus forslings on his teamwise and solo
a man worried he will forget who he is and will get lost without a nametag i see i see (nods sagely)
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special mention sasha forcing the finns to put on shirsey nametags with him for his cup party so no one will get lost <3
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gemharvest · 6 months ago
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Need to get on top of whatever dumb fucking inferiority complex I got going on I'm tired of looking at everything about myself and going "Wow I am really sub-par." I know it's 2am but this isn't the midnight thoughts talking this is a fucking persistent curse throughout my day.
#ventings#drew up a really cute sketch and I will be honest I wanna share it at this stage sooo bad but my brain keeps telling me#that my dialogue writing is atrocious. so i guess im keeping this to myself until its lined lol#its going to take so much for me to share it and not go `sorry if this is ass haha..` BECAUSE I DONT WANNA SOUND LIKE IM FISHING#FOR COMPLEMENTS. IM NOT. I JUST GENUINELY DON'T THINK A LOT OF WHAT I COME UP WITH IS GOOD#LOL. LMAO EVEN idk im not even sad about this its kinda just pissing me off. can i not be confident in my works at least once#i think this is why i dont write a lot either. cuz id love to do it more i just constantly think what i put down is complete ass and it#demotivates me. positive comments are nice and i appreciate them sm but then my brain goes back on its bullshit#going to throw up and cry so many talented people surround me and i genuinely do not get what anyone sees in me LOL#like you can follow people who emulate the fnf style better. you can follow people who make better ship art or fics#you can follow people who are funnier. the worst is feeling like everyone around you is a moment away from realizing youre#actually worth nothing and dropping you for someone better at articulating things or who are funnier or are less annoying or#okay i just looked into the invisible camera and gave a toothy smile and a thumbs up to stop myself from crying i think#ive gone far enough into this. im going to bed#sorry everyone who sees this i promise im not normally this much of a sad bitch!#my inhibitions are just lowered cuz im tired and also all of my friends should be asleep rn so im not gonna accidentally#make people feel bad for me cuz of this. gluh. ive got shitpost doodles in the works ill be back to being goofy shortly
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crescentfool · 2 years ago
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just put a one star review on the tumblr app 🤧
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orcelito · 6 months ago
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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